Funerals-death does NOT become me!

When you die, trust me when I say this- You don't want me at your funeral. I just don't do funerals or airports well at all. The very first funeral I went to was my friend Mary Johnson's Great Grandmother from California. They flew the body in. Let me just tell you, I cried harder than anyone at that funeral and I didn't even know the lady. Never met her mind you. I mean not just a tear rolling down the cheek quietly but an embarrassing display of tears and mascara. Envision someone consoling the most inconsolable child. That was me. Nothing anyone said to me could make stop blubbering like an idiot. The question that has always plagued me with funerals is why? Why do I feel so badly for the people who pass when I never even knew them.

I found that if I don't get too close to anybody, including the deceased I usually can do okay. So if I can just stand like a statue in the room and not have to talk I can make it without crying. BUT, if anyone says so much as a word to me about anything to do with the very reason we are there, forget about it! You better have some kleenex on you.

It is the same way at the airport. I literally cannot look at anyone saying good bye in an airport or I feel myself getting choked up. I can first feel the sting in my nostrils. Then the burning in the back of my throat as I try to choke back tears. Eventually, one leaks. It rolls down my cheek and I try to catch it with my tongue. Then I give a good sniffle in hopes of sucking the sadness down my throat.

I guess I just don't like the idea of anyone losing someone in their life, even if it is just a business trip or a vacation. I know that the older people who have suffered are in a better place but I still cannot help but feel bad for all those left behind missing them dearly.

If you see me at the airport or a funeral, please, do us both a favor and don't talk to me!