Hurricane Ike

Well I will post pictures later today, but my failure to post has been directly related to the lack of electricity. And water. And phone service. And cable. Did I mention that my kids are not pioneers in any sense of the word? Okay, so maybe I am not a pioneer that should have children. No power is fine by me, but having a house full of children and candles and oil lamps around with fire shooting out of them, ON PURPOSE, well it just does not sit well with me. Made me a nervous wreck.

Kids really don't know how to spend time without electronics these days. My son Zachary is absolutely beyond words just two days into this sans electricity thing. I really feel like I could string him up from a tree if there were any trees left standing on my property. So I did what any sensible mother would do. Or any single mother would do. I took him to his Dad's house. :o)

My roof on my garage is missing, well parts of it are missing. There is wood showing which is not a good thing. Shingles are laying with their back side showing (how embarrassing) and well my water line conveniently snapped in true hurricane fashion. Go IKE! I was thinking of the Hillshire Farms commercial "go meat" and that is where that came from. There are shingles from the roof on my house laying helter skelter throughout my yard.

There are leaves everywhere, and I am really having major concerns about the way fall may turn out. I love summer, it is my favorite. But fall is so beautiful. Usually. When a hurricane doesn't blow through at 81 mph and ripping the leaves off the trees like a stripper in heat! But no sense worrying just yet. I once took pictures of the same leaves every week for four months just so I could compare the change. That gives you an idea of how much I love the change of color in the fall.

Hurricane Ike hit southern Indiana, it was dry here. My sister lives in St. Louis and they had a deluge of rain. I am glad it was dry and just wind damage because I can only imagine what it would look like if it was raining here as well. Thank you God for the small blessing!!!

Stars Hollow

Do you ever wish you had grown up in one place all of your life and that everyone knew you and everything about you? I am watching Gilmore Girls, the television show, but on DVD. I have this little weird thing about me, I don't watch television. It is not that I have anything against television. I just don't have the lifestyle that condones watching a television series. Or maybe it is better to say that I don't have the personality it takes to miss an episode of a television series.

I feel like missing an episode of a series is like having mismatched sheets. It makes me feel weird inside. I am going to have to tell you that I am probably a little OCD. My sisters used to come and visit and make jokes about the way my soup labels lined up. Okay, I just read what I wrote so far and maybe I am a little ADD too. See the apples don't fall far from the tree. God bless my children.

Anyway, I am watching Gilmore Girls and this not my first time, just so we are all on the same page. But with every episode I must confess I want to move there. I want to drink coffee at Luke's or should I say Williams Hardware and I want to celebrate the many festivals they have. I think it is kind of cool how everyone knows everything about each other. Oh well. I also have to be honest and say that I looked forward to each and every move. My Dad worked for the government and we got transferred around like army brats! I loved meeting new people and making new friends. But there is just something about Stars Hollow. And Luke.

A Visit From My OIdest Son

Tonight my son Kenny called me and he was feeling a little down. He lives in Louisville with his Dad. I thought he ought to come over and hang out with me. That would surely cheer him up. As we talked he told me about the gas prices getting ready to soar through the roof. He wanted to come hang out with me but hey, he is a starving student with nothing more than vapors in his gas tank.

I bribed him with gas. Is that wrong? Come hang out with me and I will fill your gas tank. We had so much fun going from station to station trying as a team not to get screwed too bad. We finally found gas for $3.99 which for all practical purposes a bargain. I mean there is a hurricane that might hit and might damage some oil wells and that might cause a shortage so I can definitely see where it would be important to raise the price of gas. That is a lie. Never mind that gas was $3.64 yesterday and I have seen no gas trucks. So the gas in the pumps is still the $3.64 gas. So we both fill up and then we go to Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart is where everyone goes in the middle of the night when they cannot sleep. Or when they want to show their son a good time. At least my son. My kids love going to Wal-Mart. They are so weird.

Guess what? We stopped one gas station too soon. We found gas for $3.85 across from Wal-Mart. Man I hate getting ripped off!! But on the bright side of things, Kenny and I had fun at Wal-Mart. We got some chips and went home and made queso and watched the movie "Vantage Point" which was really good. Kenny and I had a wonderful time and I hope he doesn't wait to long to visit again. He is all grown up yet he still calls me mommy. Warms the heart I tell you!

Pizza Dough

My mom makes the BEST homemade pizza ever. Period. As kids, we all wanted her pizza for special occasions. When we come home now as adults, we want Mom to make her pizza. Right now though, I just want my mom to come to my house and stay until I can make two consecutive batches of dough without ruining one.

Last night I tried to make a batch and I ruined it. This is like standard operating procedure for me. I ruin one batch and then I make one right. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG PEOPLE??? It just pushes every button on my OCD elevator right to the top. I do it the same way each and every time but it is like the Gods of Dough are out to get me. Dough in your face girlie!!!

I love my Mom's pizza but when I make it myself, I put a lot more toppings on it. In fact, whenever I make any recipe of my Mom's I find myself adding more meat. She must be one of the vegetarians that has never really come out of the closet. Or maybe I have issues...I just love the meat. I crave hamburgers no bun, just the burger. I don't crave chips or ice cream I crave BEEF! It's whats for dinner you know!

Anyway, now that the world is aware of my dough frustrations, I will digress. That means I will shut the hell up about it! AMEN.

Sisters

My daughter is the most vicious soccer player EVER! Okay well maybe not really, but she is out for blood! Yesterday they played the rival school and was it ever ugly. I am not sure why some refs just don't call anything but it looked like Monday Night Football instead of high schoool GIRLS soccer.

I for one will never say girls can't be tough but holy cow! There were elbows flying and faceplants of olympic magnitude out there! I could not help but praise our coach who got a yellow card for yelling smash them! Smash them girls-don't let them beat on you like that!!!

They so had it coming. Pushing my daughter around and pushing my other daughter around. Mallory and Macy both were like two twisters on an open prairie ready to kill. When you push one sister you can bet the other one is coming after you!!!!! OOOOOHHHH...it is so nice to see them bond this way. I am so proud.

Okay, my adrenaline has slowed down and I am going to tell my girlies that violence is not the answer.

Unless you ask the question "What should you do when someone tries to hurt your sister?"

Zachary the Pimp

My son Zachary is 12 years old. He will be 13 next month. Anyone who knows Zachary at all, knows that until just recently, he was my other half. My oldest son Kenny may have put it to words the best. Zachary is or was a titty baby. If I had to drive three blocks to take my daughters to cheerleading practice, he was riding shotgun. If I walked out to my car to get something he would be yelling out to me "are you leaving" before I could get to the door. That would be in his panicky voice whereby he thought he might be left unattended for more than 30 seconds.

All of my children would tell me that I needed to make him grow up and quit babying him. I kept insisting he would grow up on his own. He would sleep in my room on my nights off and I would let him stay up late and we would watch movies. Sometimes we would even sneak off to Dairy Queen for a late night brownie earthquake or a double cheeseburger. He thought I was the bomb. That was then. This is now.

MOM: Zachary, we are going out for chinese, want to come?
SON: No, will you bring me back some sesame chicken and a chicken and broccoli?
MOM: Sure, we will be gone awhile are you sure you don't want to come?
SON: No. I think I will stay here.
MOM: Okay, I love you. Hey Zachary, I said I love you.
SON: Oh, I love you too Mom.

Can you say invasion of the body snatchers? The really weird thing is this. Our phone rings off the hook. Constantly. Every call is for him. All girls, all the time. So I decided to mention to Zachary that I was thinking of yanking the phone out of the wall. He tells me that he is a pimp. I am aghast. WHAT? What do you mean? He explains to me that all the girls like him because he is so sweet and he talks to them about what boys like and don't like, so he has amassed a large girl posse that calls constantly.

As the mother of a titty baby gone pimp this is what I have to say.

CCCCCCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEE BBBBBAAAACCCKKKK!!!!
Come back titty baby I miss you. I am sick of the phone ringing. I liked it better when you would cry if I went anywhere without you. Please tell your friends that you already promised your mom to live with her forever. Tell them she needs someone to go shotgun on a late night DQ run.

Connecting to Music and Movies

I love so many different types of music and so many different types of movies. I have been dubbed the proverbially "sappy chick" yet I love movies like "Running Scared" and "Colors" and can jam to tunes from Ozzy as well as John Denver. I think that I am drawn to such different music and movies because of emotion.

If I am feeling sad, I am more likely to watch "Hope Floats" or "While You Were Sleeping" but if I am straight up depressed I will reach for the likes of "Catch and Release" or "Steel Magnolias" on my DVD shelf. If I am feeling peppy I will watch "Rush Hour" or "Catwoman".

With music it is much more obvious. I love country music. But if I am mad there are only a few country songs that will do the trick. I need music like White Stripe or Metallica or AC/DC. I actually have a CD that I made for just such an occasion. I also have a CD that I made for when I am happy and sad.

I am narrow minded when it comes to choosing music, but I am lucky. My kids are instinctive when they know I will like a song. They will tell me to listen and they are right 99.9 percent of the time. They help me to branch out and listen to new things. Otherwise, I might still be listening to the Carpenters!

Today my daughter sent me a text message as we passed each other on the road and she told me to turn my station. I did and I got to listen to a bubblegum station playing Miley Cyrus. But I actually liked the song. It is a good thing I have kids...I just keep telling myself they have all kinds of benefits.

Fall

My kids went back to school August 7, 2008. It used to be that the start of school meant fall was here, Now it is more like we are in the neighborhood. It is just starting to get cooler at night. I smell leaves burning. I live in the country and that is allowed for those of you who live somewhere that it isn't kosher. But more importantly, I KNOW fall is close when football season starts. I am hoping to play fantasy football again this year, it makes the season that much more exciting! However the person that usually directs the league I played in has other obligations this year, so I am not sure what will happen there.

Fall. School starts and then you get the onslaught of Halloween decorations and hay bales and oh the corn stalks!! The aisles at any store are stocked with both school supplies, costumes and candy. Haunted Houses will begin opening and there will be spook runs and bonfires. There will be football games to attend that you will start out sweating and by the 4th quarter you will need a sweatshirt.

I love that the air conditioner can be turned off and the windows opened. I love summer, it is my favorite because I love to be outside. But there is just something about fall that almost ties it for favorite. I love that sometimes you can wear a sweater and sometimes it is still so warm that you can wear shorts until November. There is usually one channel that plays nothing but scary movies for a month straight! My kids are really too old to trick or treat, but sometimes they do anyway. I still enjoy the thrill of it all.

I love making chili in the fall and meatloaf and baking cookies because the kitchen won't be too hot. There is the Harvest Homecoming Festival to look forward to also and of course the World Series. For televison junkies there is the start of the new television season. Oh and I can't forget the mums. I love all the beautiful fall colored mums that are sold during the fall. The leaves will be changing and the drives I take will become as colorful as my favorite sweater. It is jsut around the corner!

Middle Age

Okay, I am 41 today and I am thinking about my life. I guess birthdays and New Year's Eve are the two times of year I take stock of my life. What have I done, what did I want to get done and what do I have left to do? Life is really like a to do list. Survive high school, go to college, get a job, get married, have children and so on. No one really plans on getting divorced. That was one of those things that got put on the list in crayon because there was no pen to be found. It was also written on the back of a paper towel.

There are many things I have left to do. For instance, I want to win the powerball and make everyone I know debt free. It is a goal of mine. I keep plugging away a dollar a week. I want to go to Italy. I want to travel throughout the United States and see everything that each state has to offer. I want to live happily ever after. I sure hope I get to do some of those things.

I feel like I have had a decent life, I certainly have a lot left to accomplish, my stamp room needs some major attention. I need some major attention. HAHA!!! But all in all I am grateful for all I have, I have been through and where it has brought me.

Thank you for participating in my life! Thank you God for all my blessings. Please know my shoulders are quite a bit smaller-I have lost weight. Thought you might have missed the memo!

Men REALLY ARE From Mars

I read that book "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" and I am here today to tell you that I believe it to be true. All men, doesn't matter the age, they are all aliens. They actually look like aliens when they are babies and when they are old men with hair sprouting from everywhere.

I have also read "He is Just Not That Into You" and "The Rules" all books that attempt to guide women in the scary territory we know as "the field" the dating field. Read the first one -the man tells some truth ladies. If he isn't calling he isn't interested. If he is not chasing you down he really is not interested. It has nothing to do with how bad he got burned in his last relationship. Men won't let a fish go do you think they are going to let a hot babe like you get away if they want you? No way!

I have my own opinions about dating. Men listen up. If you want to get a woman and keep her-be nice. Not kiss her ass nice, just nice. Although the ass kissing may come in handy for the days you forget. Put that one on the back burner. THINK before you speak. Women-THINK before you respond. Don't settle. If you are not getting what you want, there is no trick in the book that is going to change anyone. YOU CAN ONLY CHANGE YOU! I know it sucks but I didn't make the rules, God did. I am not about to argue. You can if you want. Just be prepared to have a flat tire at a bad time with your cell phone conveniently in roam!!

Women are not that complicated. Say something sweet, be affectionate and try, TRY, try to not say anything whether you are joking or not to put her in her place. We just don't need it. We know our places. Look around. Palin for VP. Clinton for President. SMILE, that was a joke. I have no desire to clean up after men (they have been in office for sometime now-it would take women alot of time to clean that mess up)at work.

I don't know why relationships are so hard between the sexes. I just know that they are. I know because women tell me daily what they have been put through. We have enough to deal with-what with the child rearing, working, laundry, chauffeuring, cooking and cleaning you guys are supposed to be our bright spots. So try not to rain on our parade and we will try to have sex every day. Kidding...just kidding.(I'm not but I didn't want to commit anyone else)

Inspiration

Do you ever wonder what inspires some people to greatness? For instance, Michael Phelps. What inspired him to be the Olympian swimmer that he is? I like to watch people and study what motivates them. My daughter Mallory is my best subject for observation. She is 15. She is in advanced classes and makes straight A's. She not only does well academically, but she lettered in four sports her freshmen year of high school. I have five children. What motivates and inspires her to perform at the level she does? What is different with her than the other four?

Tonight she had a soccer game, right after school. We walked in the door and she started asking me what we were eating for dinner. The next thing you know she has pulled my recipe book out and asked me if she could make spaghetti sauce from scratch. She amazes me every day.

I am inspired to be a good parent by many people. There is a couple at my kids school and they have ten children. I see them at sporting events, choir concerts, school programs and driving up and down the road daily. I figure if they can attend as many events as they do and always have a smile on their face-so can I! (Yesterday does not count as my children tried to kill me with will you and can I and I need)

I am inspired to do a good job at work from-oh wait. I am not inspired to do a good job at work by anyone or anything lately. No sense lying. Moving on. Exercise.

Truth be told I am motivated to exercise when I am stressed. Luckily I seem to have a windfall of stress in my life so I have been quite faithful with the exercising. I asked my boss what motivates him, as I have seen him running many times. I was inspired by his answer. He sees a 70 year old man running every day. Rain, snow or shine. From behind he has the legs of a 25 year old athlete but from the front he is a an older man. I think that is poetic.

Inspiration comes in many packages. What inspires you? Tell me, tell me I want to know!

Hurricane Season

While Hurricane Gustav and Hannah may be revving up down near Jamaica I feel like there is category five about to hit right here in Ramsey. If people tried to collectively collaborate at pissing me off they could not be more successful than they have this week.

I feel like my temper which can lie dormant like a good STD for years is about to blow like the top off a pressure cooker left unattended.

Here are some things I am left wondering. Why is it that when you say DON"T do something, kids feel like you are saying DO IT, DO IT? It is like when women say no and men hear yes. How does that happen? Are we speaking on alternate planes of the universe?

When you get two days off a week, why do coaches decide at the last minute to have a meeting over something that is not going to take place for three more months on the ONE day you have other things you need to do. Notice I said NEED. I NEED to clean my house, do laundry, pack boxes. I might WANT to cook dinner and eat and take a bath but those are things that are rapidly falling in the list of things that might get done next week.

My cell phone has decided it is not going to ring so I have missed a myriad of phone calls in the last few hours which is now a good thing. Because if I got a call from someone who only seems to find me amusing when they are intoxicated I would probably say something that I would only regret later. If my mother called me today I can assure you I would not be in a good place mentally to have a conversation about the weather with her let alone anything of substance. A phone call from someone asking for anything of me right now would surely end in carnage.

I have no vices. I clean when I am stressed and if I could get five minutes to myself today, I would have the cleanest house you ever saw. But since I can't clean I think I might take up drinking. I can take a drink in a cup to the meeting I am about to attend and maybe I will find it not nearly as aggravating as I do right now. Cheers.

The View from SR 64 EB

Today it was a whopping 95 degrees. I am one of those weird people that loves summer and I don't care how hot it is. I don't love humidity but I will take it over being cold any day of the week. I am at work right now and I have a heater under my desk set at high and a blanket over my lap. I freeze in air conditioning. Especially if I work with Bubba. Bubba likes his women hot and his rooms cold. Actually I have no idea how he likes his women but it sounded good. So I decided to walk from my house in the booming metropolis of Ramsey, Indiana to New Salisbury, Indiana. It is just under four miles. I needed some time to think, my house was full of kids and the weather was sunny.

As I walked I had many thoughts. My mind was firing like an AR-15. I started pondering life and here are some observations from the road. I have photos with some which I took with my phone. The first mile I walked I wondered why the hell there are no sidewalks in the country. The speed limit is 55 throughout the county unless otherwise posted. Sidewalks would be a major investment but think of all the pedestrians struck walking in the roads that would be saved. People either veer twenty feet over into oncoming traffic to avoid coming close to you or they come as close to you as possible as if to test your resolve. My resolve was solid. I have lots of insurance and a hospital stay would mean someone is bringing me meals and I could get some sleep.

People in rural areas are friendly. I am by birthright a Northerner. My ex-husband used to make cracks about how unfriendly Northerners were. Well I have to say that people in the country are more friendly. As I walked every other person that passed me, waved. Some people even smiled. Probably they were smiling because they thought I was nuts. Who walks in this weather? Only me. Who walks and runs where there are no sidewalks? Me. I had a lot on my mind.

For instance, what happened to Freddy the frog here? Well this is what happens when you walk in an area with no sidewalks. Oh and when it is 95 degrees outside. If Freddy had a supergirl hat like mine, he would have been okay. Gay, but okay. But he got scattered, smothered and covered like some hash browns from the Waffle House. He was the first dead thing I passed. Then there was a butterfly and this poor little bird.Country living is not for the faint of heart. I also saw a skunk but he looked like he could have been in an episode of CSI and I decided not to subject you to that.

I walked further and I noticed that there were a lot of trucks pulling boats. In fact I would say trucks outnumbered the cars 3 to 1. Which had me wondering how all these folks afford gas. I thought gas was outrageous and the country was struggling because of gas prices. Now, I am wondering if it is just me. Filling up the trucks would be bad enough but the boat too! I will stick with my Corolla.

As I continued on I found several socks-are they yours? I am so happy to finally know where socks go.I walked and walked and another thing I noticed that really bothered me was how much litter there was on the side of the road. Apparently they need to start showing that Indian commercial like they did when I was a kid. The one where the tear rolled down his cheek as he stood in a pile of garbage. Please put litter in its place!

One of the funniest things I saw was a glass jar. I know, what is so funny about a glass jar? Well there is this neat little candle shop in Corydon called Candles by Lisa. They have great smelling candles and what I really like about her shop is that you can bring any dish or jar to her and she will fill it with the candle of your choosing! Perfect for the person that has everything or when you just want to reuse a jar or dish. Anyway, someone reused her candle jar.

If only this jar could talk. Bye for now!

Morelli

"There are some men who enter a woman's life and screw it up forever." That is one of my favorite lines that describe the character Joseph Morelli. Morelli is a character in the books written by Janet Evanovich. The books are numbered. The first in the series is "One For The Money" and it is when I first started falling for this imaginary character. Some people have imaginary friends when they are young. I waited until I was a full fledge adult with sexual urges to have one. If Morelli were real I would do him. I am just keeping it honest here.

"He'd grown up big and bad, with eyes like black fire one minute and melt-in-your-mouth chocolate the next. He had an eagle tattooed on his chest, a tight-assed, narrow-hipped swagger, and a reputation for having fast hands and clever fingers." That is a description that makes you want to have an imaginary friend is it not? By the way, that is only page one of the first book and there are thirteen more already written!

I envision Morelli to look like a combination of Ken Wahl from the television show Wiseguy to something like one of the other eight million hot Italian guys that play in the movies.

If you haven't read the books-read em! You will want to kick my ass over Morelli. He is just that smooth "Cupcake!" I have shared my love for these books with many folks. My Corporal at work has a wife who loves to read. She was sick and so I suggested that he get her one of these books. Well needless to say she devoured them like anyone would with such a great imaginary friend. My Corporal likened these books to crack. His wife lent them to her Aunt and the same thing happened. Instantly you become hooked like a fat kid with cake. The books are not only funny-you will find yourself laughing out loud but they are also just good for the imagination. You can spend hours imagining about Morelli. What more could a girl want?

Ranger. Now that is another character in the series and another post. When you think of Ranger your sure to here Babe in your head and imagine a hot cuban popping in out of nowhere. Like I said...imaginary friends are really a GOOD thing!!!
Bye for now.